"Where does the morning go?" a top-of-the-morning-to-ya story by Vu Ha Time flies when you’re having fun.Time flies when you’re throwing clocks off of the Eiffel Tower.Which is fun, hence, the first statement.Either way, having fun isn’t exactly what I am having at 5:30 in the morning each weekday but I still can’t seem to manage to keep my early morning time from slipping through my fingers.Even with fatter digits, that hour and a half just can’t seem to wait up for me. No matter, I mean I always feel like I’m not really doing anything each morning but I was able to realize how much I actually do one morning when Amy woke up with me and remarked on how she couldn’t figure out how I did everything that I did each morning before going to work.But that was a few months ago and I’ve gotten back into the mindset that I wake up each morning and then before I know it, it’s time for me to go to work again. As an experiment, to fully make clear to myself what it is I do each morning, I am going to re-enact a normal weekday morning and journal it in photographic form.That along with a handy dandy timeclock, I will be able to visually reveal to myself where my times goes.Whether or not I will be able to accomplish anything from this experiment doesn’t matter.This is about me being able to step outside of my body and watch a weekday morning for Vu Ha. The alarm clock goes off at 5:00am each morning.Usually to the sounds of Tom Petty or Led Zeppelin or Pink Floyd or Guns N Roses or who knows what.Snooze reaction #1. 5:07am, this time it may be AC/DC or Twisted Sister or Eric Clapton or just a commercial for dog food or the Chippendales performing at some nightclub.Snooze reaction #2. 5:14am, I have my clock set to play the radio and run an annoying buzz at the same time on the third ring.This is my failsafe for when I’ve fallen asleep and I can’t get up.Sometimes I climb out of bed and get my morning routine going.If not, then snooze reaction #3. 5:21am, okay, enough of this snooze crap.I stretch (doing my best not to get a Charlie horse) and roll out of bed.I then spend a minute or two standing in the middle of the dark room and blinking.As I blink, I remind myself to make sure to not let any of the cats into the room when I open the door.Usually Dimmy will be waiting at the door to make her little war cry when the door opens so I have to crack the door and stick my foot out first (doing my best not to get a Charlie horse) to keep her from getting in. 5:25am, I get so tired before going to bed that sometimes I completely bypass that before bed tinkle and I just tell myself that I’m too old to wet the bed and I can hold it until morning.Well, I’m usually right but considering that last time I may have peed was probably around 7:30pm the night before, well, if I were playing Monopoly, I would own Water Works every morning. 5:30am, let’s brush my teeth.You know how when you are eating and you push your spoon back into your throat a little too far or you’re swallowing swords and you suddenly realize, “Holy Shatner! I’m swallowing swords!” and you get that gag reflex?I am the king of gag reflexes.Thinking about gagging makes me gag.Fortunately, Amy sleeps like a log.A big log.A big log with the ability to sleep like another log.Maybe that one down the street.Otherwise, she would walk into the room and slap me in the back of the head and tell me to get over my gag reflex.Toothbrush in mouth.Gag reflex.I hate this part of the morning. 5:35am, I found that if I shave the night before in the shower, I don’t have to shave in the morning.Woohoo!No shaving.Of course, that usually means that my five o’clock shadow usually resurfaces around 1:00pm in the afternoon.Oh, well.Small price to pay in exchange for the eternal fear that I’m going to accidentally put toothpaste on my razor and try to brush my teeth with it again. 5:35am, dang it.I’ve got dishes to do from the night before.So much for saving time by shaving in the shower before going to bed.Maybe if I shave and do the dishes at the same time in the shower.Nah, it’s been done already.Well, the dishes and the shower thing.At least I thought it had been done before.Maybe I dreamt it.Anyway, standing here pondering it doesn’t get the dishes done, dude. 5:36am, I ignore the dishes and move over to the fish tank.I usually turn off the light on the fish tank to give Mr. Skrinkles the feeling of a full 24 hours with night and day.I hear that’s good for fish.But more importantly, I have the light turned off to remind me in the morning to turn the light back on and feed Mr. Skrinkles. Boy, is he ever getting fat.Amy is tired of hearing me say this but I am not looking forward to the day that Mr. Skrinkles buys the trout farm.I’ve had to fish out quite a few fish from this aquarium since we set it up about a year and a half ago but none as big as Mr. Skrinkles.I think Blackeye was the biggest next to Mr. Skrinkles and he was only about half the fish Mr. S is.Even at half the size of Mr. Skrinkles, he was still big enough to almost clog the toilet when I flushed him.No way is Mr. Skrinkles going to make the porcelain graveyard. 5:37am, I poke my head into the storage room to see how the kitty litter is doing.I don’t know why I bother checking because I know it’s going to need to be cleaned out.When we only had two cats, I could get away with cleaning the litter every other day but with five cats, I should be cleaning it twice a day.If I don’t keep up with it, the kitties let me know by pooping outside of the litter box. I think Thumbkin does it but that's only because Dimmy tells me he does it. 5:45am, it looks like the doggies ate all their food over night.I reach out the door to grab their food dish and fill it back up.We give the kind of food that you can either serve dry or add water and it produces a faux gravy which they seem to like, too.But if they don’t eat the gravified version pretty early on, it gets a funky texture…which they’ll still eat but it always weirds me out to look at it.Do I serve it dry or wet today? 5:50am, man those dishes sure could use some washing.If I don’t wash them, Amy will have to do them.And if she doesn’t get to them, they’ll be waiting for us in the evening so I should consider doing them now. 5:51am, the kitties need more water.I have to make sure that they get fresh water everyday.We had tried using a larger water dispenser for the cats but after a little while the water gets stagnant and yucky and although these kitties can eat paper and kitty litter and moths and yarn, their sensitive systems don’t like yucky water.A few months back, Cumberbund got a urinary tract infection from the older water and it gave Amy and I quite the scare so I have forced myself to make sure they have fresh water everyday by using a smaller water dish.By the way, Cumby got better and is doing well now. 5:53am, while I’m at it, they could use some more food, too.Feed the fish.Feed the dogs.Feed the cats.One morning I’ll remember to feed myself. 5:55am, okay, the dishes.One of these days I’ll get around to installing a dishwasher.I just need to figure out how to cut into the lower cabinets to make room for the washer.I’ll probably need a special saw for that. Possibly something rugged and manly.In the meantime, it’s all manual hand washing.Wait, the dishrack is full.I’ll have to empty that first. 6:05am, dishrack is empty and now time for the dishes.Hey, look.It’s Dimmy.She wants some attention.Okay, I’ll just pick her up and pet her for a bit.Now Cumby wants attention.Maybe I’ll just sit on the floor here by the sink and pet the cats for a bit.They need lovin’ just as much as food and water. 6:15am, I should probably get dressed.I used to sleep in the clothes I was planning on wearing the next day to save some time in the morning but I got so much slack for that that I quit doing that.Most of the time.I guess I should make sure I have something to wear to work before I do these dishes. 6:30am, well, after digging around my closet I found a pair of slacks and a shirt that are only minimally wrinkled.I should probably iron them.But that would take another five minutes and I’m already late as it is.Actually, I don’t have to be at work until 7:30am but I like to leave by 6:30am to beat traffic and get a bit of work done before everyone else gets in because once 7:30am hits, I don’t get a moment’s peace.I’ll just go to work in wrinkled clothes.Again. 6:31am, oops, the dishes.Okay, I’ll do them real quick. 6:40am, that wasn’t so bad.But now I’ve got about two minutes before the morning work rush hits.Egads.One last thing to do before I head out. 6:41am, Amy’s sleeping and although she’d probably like to get up at 7:00am, I’ll let her sleep since we did stay up late again last night.I’ll just give her a quick kiss goodbye and let Dickie in to take my place in bed.He’s pretty much the only kitty that won’t go exploring in the bedroom while I’m gone and will gently sleep next to Amy for the next hour. 6:43am, off to work.Traffic looks bad this morning but I’m on my way and even if I get in later than I would like, I’ll still be about 15 minutes earlier than everyone else.I can’tbelieve I used to get up at 4:30am to get into work by 6:30am.That’s crazy.Of course, driving through Bella Vista at 6:00am was less congested.Heck, I was usually the only one on the road.Maybe I should start getting up earlier again.I mean, where does the morning go?